


Auteur

by Medeafic



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Chris being a jerk, M/M, Murderous JJ thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-26
Updated: 2011-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 03:11:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/156436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medeafic/pseuds/Medeafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JJ Abrams is obsessed with Alfred Hitchcock and Zachary Quinto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Auteur

**Author's Note:**

> Beta read by the awesome [](http://emmessann.livejournal.com/profile)[**emmessann**](http://emmessann.livejournal.com/); all mistakes are my own. Written for the RPF kink meme prompt:[I don't see much with J.J. so..............How about one dealing with J.J. having unrequited feelings for Zach? Zach could be with someone else or not, not too picky](http://community.livejournal.com/trek_rpf_kink/2887.html?thread=3914823#t3914823).  
> 

  
JJ had started to feel an uneasy and unpleasant affinity with Alfred Hitchcock.  Really understanding him, in ways he never wanted to.  The alleged obsession with Cary Grant, the need to control his stars – making them his own throughout the filming process, making them feel like cattle.  Necessary, but non-individual.  A film-maker’s tools.

Couldn’t do that these days, of course, but JJ – appalled at himself – knew that he was actually trying it on.  And _only_ on Zachary Quinto.  The fact that Zach was one of the nicest, most grounded and accommodating actors he’d worked with made it that much worse when he made him do take after take.  After take.  After take.  He worked Zach like a packhorse and the rest of the cast were starting to notice, starting to talk about it. 

Things were really getting out of hand when he thought about following Zach on their coinciding day off like a paparazzo – or worse, a crazed stalker.  He couldn’t even _think_ about the consequences of anyone finding out what he was doing.  Every time that possibility came up in his mind, JJ had an anxiety attack instead. 

He told himself he was being ridiculous; he told himself it was the artistic collaboration at work and not feelings; he told himself the sick jealousy at every smile Zachary gave anyone else was just heartburn.  He told himself all these things over and over while he sat one day in a non-descript rental car outside Zach’s house, with a cap pulled down low over his face and a high-collared jacket.

That was how JJ found out, by accident, that Zachary was seeing Chris Pine.  He saw Pine jog up, go into Zach’s place, and come back out later with a wide smile, messy hair and an inside-out tee.

  
***

  
JJ tried to push aside the moping and the sulking.  He threw himself into his work instead.  One night, he hung around the darkened set to try a new filming angle for the Bridge.  He was pushing himself too hard really, but his wife expected late nights anyway.  And he couldn’t really face his wife when he had such an epically embarrassing man-crush on his star.

JJ sat quietly, contemplatively in the darkest corner of the set.  There was an old length of rope on the crate next to him, and he curled his fingers around it while he considered framing devices, and wondered whether a Hitchcockian ten-minute tracking shot would be doable or even advisable.  Tarantino had done it, after all.

He pulled a camera over, switched it on and looked through it, considering cattle – er, actor placement.  And he was still hidden, stooped in the shadows like a gargoyle, when the door opened and two figures snuck in.

“We shouldn’t be in here,” Zach said.

“Sure we should, it’s hot.”  Chris, smirking, tugged Zach forward by his belt loops. 

“It’s disrespectful.  This is where we work.”

“That’s what makes it hot.  Come here.”  And he wrapped his arms around Zachary, feeding on his mouth in a way that JJ wanted to dismiss as uncouth, but actually looked really…fun.  JJ remained frozen, watching through the camera.

“That camera’s on,” Zach said.  They both looked straight down the camera at JJ.

“It’s not filming.  They must have left it on by mistake,” Chris murmured.  “Mmmm.  Over here.”

And that was when JJ realized that they couldn’t see him at all, hidden in the darkness behind the camera.

They moved backwards towards center stage, bumping into things in the gloom. Chris reached back with his hand until he found what he was looking for.  “Here,” he said.  “Captain’s chair.”

“Chris, _no_!”  Zachary looked horrified.  JJ was pretty sure he looked horrified himself.  He didn’t really want to see his Captain Kirk defiling the Chair.  And he sure as hell didn’t want to see his Spock being violated by Kirk _in_ the Chair.

Well.  Maybe that last bit wasn’t quite so bad.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Pine said with a nasty smile.  “You know you’ll do it if I ask you to.”

“Then don’t ask me,” Zachary replied stiffly, trying to pull away.

“Oh, come on, dude.  Really?  Jesus.  Alright, okay.  Fine.  Is standing _next_ to it okay or is my _disrespect_ going to jizz all over it somehow?”

Zach was grinning again.  “I guess that would work.”

“Take your glasses off.”

JJ watched Zach’s hands hover protectively over his glasses.  “My eyebrows,” he said, sounding embarrassed.

“Shit, Zach, you’re such a princess.  Whatever.  Do it your way, leave them on.”  Chris shoved him and Zach landed awkwardly on his knees, his face lit with a dim glow from idling electronics across the room.  “Hurry up, or security will hear us.”  He pulled at his belt, and Zach helped unbutton, unzip.

And then Zachary Quinto opened his mouth like a cat yawning and swallowed down on the ingrate’s cock.  JJ clenched his hands hard, one on the rope and one on the camera.  It was only when a trickle of sweat rolled slowly into his collar that he shifted, just a small sound, but Chris’s head twisted.

“What?” Zach asked, his mouth full.

“Nothing.  Just – keep going.  Yeah.  That’s it sweetheart, just like that.”  His ass bumped against the Chair, making it wobble.

JJ swore that he would just go, sneak out, or turn away and not watch anymore, but every time his mind commanded his feet or eyes to move, they stayed stubbornly fixed.  And then Chris was saying something again.

“Wait, let me –”

“What –”

Pine pulled out of Zach’s mouth, gripped him by the hair, and came all over his face, all over the glasses, while Zach spluttered in protest.

Chris collapsed into the Chair afterwards, his dick still hard but slumping over.  He was laughing.

“You’re a real jerk, you know that?”  Zach had pulled off his glasses and was trying to clean them on his shirt.  “That was _not cool_.”  He tugged up his shirt to rub his face.

“Sorry, man,” Chris said, still chuckling.  “Those glasses are fucking ridiculous though, you know?”

“I told you I don’t like it when you come on my face.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris said.  “Want me to do you now?”

“No,” Zach said firmly, walking away.  “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Awww, don’t be like that, Zach.  Come on, man.  Dude, seriously, wait up!  I can barely see where I’m going!”  Chris followed him, rapidly re-tucking himself, and JJ was left watching the Chair like a one-man audience for a pornographic absurdist play. 

He looked at the rope in his hand.  No.  Sadly, he couldn’t strangle Chris Pine, stuff him in a chest and hold a dinner party over his remains.  JJ wondered whether Hitchcock had ever wanted to do the same to Jimmy Stewart.

  
***

  
The next day on set, Chris and Zach were both consummate professionals.  But JJ couldn’t help himself.

“Was that okay, JJ?” Zach asked after one take.  “It felt – better.  Than rehearsal.”

“Yeah, just like that, sweetheart.”  It was out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and he turned away instantly, hoping that Zach would just assume he’d misheard.  But the frantic darted looks between Chris and Zach and the confusion on other faces suggested that the whole damn set had heard.  “Come on, let’s go again,” JJ said tiredly.  “Kirk, you’re over there.  Spock, further down.  Sulu, why are you even on set?”

John ran out of the shot, grinning. 

Later in the day, much later, too much later, all of his actors were exhausted and giggly, and JJ started to lose his temper.  All day.  All day, he’d been watching Pine hover over Zachary Quinto like he owned him, and JJ had to watch that stupid expression Zach got on his face when he looked at Chris.

And then Zach decided to ham it up, make everyone laugh, take after take after take.  JJ was pretty sure he was doing it to show off to Chris.  So he had limited options.  Throw Chris Pine off the nearest bell tower, kidnap Zachary Quinto and keep him locked in the cellar, or treat his actors like Hitchcock would have done.

“I’m gonna give you a minute, and then we’ll come back,” he said, and stormed off set.  Well, intended to storm.  People didn’t seem to understand what he was doing.

“Where’s JJ going?” Chris asked.

“Um, Diet Coke?” Zoë suggested.

“Ohmigod,” he heard Zach breathe, just before he left the area.  “I think JJ’s _walking off set_.  Literally.  Ohmigod, you guys, this is all my –”

And then the door swung shut, and JJ was mercifully left alone with his thoughts.

Zachary came to him a few minutes later, looking downcast.  “I’m _so_ sorry, JJ.  Really.  That was totally unprofessional of me.  Won’t happen again.  I brought you a Diet Coke.”  He held out the drink, and JJ, mollified, took it.

“You know…” he said.  “No.  Never mind.”

“What is it?”  Zach looked like he was ready for a big telling off.

“I don’t think Chris is good for you,” JJ said, quickly so he couldn’t stop himself.  “I mean, personally.  In your personal life.  Which is none of my business.”

“Of course it’s your business, JJ, you’re my friend,” Zach said, looking puzzled.  “And thanks for looking out for me.”  He pulled JJ into a hug, and JJ jumped, splashing his drink all over his own shoulder.  “Oops.  Sorry.”

“No, no, it was me, it’s fine,” JJ spluttered, wiping at his shoulder, face pink.

Zach gave him a strange look, made stranger by his Vulcanized face and absent eyebrows.  Enlightenment, followed by compassion. 

JJ shrugged off Zach’s hand, still on his other shoulder.

“I know Chris is kind of a jerk,” Zach said.  JJ glared.  “Okay, he’s a complete tool.  I know that.  But I’m not pinning my heart to his sleeve or anything.”

“A complete tool of monumental proportions,” JJ augmented.

“Yeah,” Zach said, smiling a gentle smile.  “Well, the monumental proportions are what keep me hanging around.  It’s certainly not the personality.”

JJ laughed, although it still hurt a little, and he thought about his own very adequate proportions, which had always pleased his wife.  Then he thought about how she had put up with a lot from him over the years.  “Okay.  Let’s go make a movie.”

“You’re okay?” Zach double-checked.  “And…we’re okay?”

“Sure.  But maybe we could run the choking scene again tomorrow, one more time.  One extra take wouldn’t hurt.”

Zach clapped him on the back.  “JJ, you are a master auteur and I am yours to command.”  
  



End file.
